Affectionate Adventures.

"Mom, PET MEEEEEEEE!" Said Smaaht Kitty. He posed prettily so Mom would be even MORE inclined to pet him, but she wasn't looking. "Hmmm.." said Smaaht Kitty. New tactic. "Mew?" and Smaaht Kitty opened his eyes as large as he could, and stared with all the "you know you need to pet me now" vibes he could muster. "Mew?" he said again.

Mom continued ignoring him in favor of the White Box That Holds Runny Things-To-Be-Chased. Tappeta tappeta tappeta, went the bits in front of it. "Mom, why are you petting the White Box, and not me?" Smaaht Kitty demanded. He leaped up from the floor and into her lap, and pushed her hands away from the White Box. "You should pet me now. See, I'm better than the White Box."

"Kitten, I'm working." Mom said. But she petted him, a little. But then, HORRORS! she went back to tapping the White Box, and ignoring Smaaht Kitty, even though he was in her lap, and PURRING, even! "Mom! I... I feel so unloved..." And Smaaht Kitty jumped down from Mom's lap.

"Dad will pet me." said Smaaht Kitty to himself. He walked over to Dad, who was tapping on the Black Box, which was just like the White Box; odd, and warm, and full of runny things that the Kitties weren't allowed to chase, even though they so obviously should be chased. "Dad, PET ME." Smaaht Kitty said, and put his paws on Dad's leg, so that Dad would have to pet him. "Hi, Kitten." said Dad. But Dad kept tapping, not petting Smaaht Kitty. "Mew?" Smaaht Kitty tried. "Mew?" Dad continued to ignore him, and there wasn't even space in Dad's lap to leap up and show him the error of his ways. (Smaaht Kitty knew this since he had tried on several occasions to leap into Dad's lap only to slam his head into hard, unkind things that held the tappy bits of the Black Box on which Dad lavished so much attention. It was very rude of Dad to have such a thing, Smaaht Kitty had decided, but forgivable, since it was Dad.)

There was a new woman in the house today, talking with Dad's Mom, maybe she would pet Smaaht Kitty? The new woman was sitting atop the giant ball-toy-thing that sometimes rolled at him, so Smaaht Kitty was cautious. Also, since he was tired of being ignored, Smaaht Kitty decided to check out the ball-thing from behind the woman first, so he had a good chance of gaining her favorable attention.

Smaaht Kitty walked up behind the woman, and batted the ball. So far, so good: the ball didn't move. He stood up on his hind legs, and pushed it. Still no movement. ...And still no attention. Mom was still doing her "working" thing, and Dad was still tapping away. The woman still hadn't noticed him. He pounced, and tried to get on top of the ball, but there wasn't enough room, and he slid off. But the ball-thing still didn't move, and still nobody noticed him. Except for Little Kitty, who laughed at his sliding off. "Silly! You don't fit on that, you'll have to try harder!"

"Little Kitty, you're mean!" said Smaaht Kitty. "I'll show you!" And he leaped has high as he could, and put one paw on each side of the woman's head, and held on to her shoulders. "Hah! See, I fit!" said Smaaht Kitty, even as the woman said "What is that!?" and Dad said "Smaaht Kitty!"

And then the world held perfectly still for only a moment; surprise on the woman's face, irritation on Dad's face, amusement on Dad's Mom's face, and confusion on Mom's face. Smaaht Kitty had a moment to be smug, and Little Kitty had a moment to question her brother's sanity.

And then, very slowly, Smaaht Kitty began to slide. Kittens weren't meant to hang by their front paws on something as narrow as human shoulders, and Smaaht Kitty wasn't rude enough to use his claws to halt his slide. Ssshhhhhsssp, went the sound of Smaaht Kitty's paws on the woman's jacket. Tup-tp, when the sound of Smaaht Kitty's back feet hitting the ball-thing. TumblTHUD went Smaaht Kitty, head over tail as he lost is balance and fell backwards off the ball. Silence reigned.

"OH, Kitten!" Said Mom.
"Oh, it was a kitten!" Said the woman, who had been wondering who was touching her shoulders.
"Oh, Brother." Said Little Kitty.

"Ok, you two." said Mom. "That's enough adventure today." and she picked both kittens up and carried them into the other room to pet them and play with them, and keep them away from unsuspecting Clients.


***The front room of our house is home to a business. We got lucky, this particular Client doesn't mind cats, she was just surprised and wondered who was giving her a back rub before my dear Kitten slid off her jacket. Kittens will no longer be allowed in the office while clients are here, though.